Inner Adventurer

The Awakening (Part 3)

Click here for the first part of this thread

Click here for the second part of this thread

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God…but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees, because you’ve learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you’ll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time – FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, you learn about money… the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you fake a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed, not for the answers to my prayers or for material things, but for my “God” to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.

Remember this:- You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you.

My “God” has never failed me.

Copyright 1999 by Sonny Carroll [Emphasis added]

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you confidence, self-esteem and inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

The Awakening (Part 2)

Click here for the first part of this thread

And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships – how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through… and interestingly enough, it’s not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns – anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say “I was wrong” and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your” standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with yourself” and “on yourself.” Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know – Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Copyright 1999 by Sonny Carroll [Emphasis added]

To be continued…

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you confidence, self-esteem and inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

The Awakening (Part 1)

A personal note from Sarah: There are times when someone catches deep meaning and it simply cannot be expressed in any better way. That is what I bring you over these next few posts. Drink in the wisdom and let it strengthen your soul.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about :

- how you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family,

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK… they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10″…. Or a perfect human being for that matter… and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop manoeuvring through life merely as a “consumer” hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in “giving” that we receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” and “contributing” rather than “obtaining” and “accumulating.”

And you give thanks for the simple things you’ve been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about – a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.

Copyright 1999 by Sonny Carroll [Emphasis added]

To be continued…

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you confidence, self-esteem and inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

Erasing Negativity: Using Your Rose-Colored Glasses

Click here to read the first part of this thread

So you’ve identified some negativity in your thoughts or in your life. It can be quite a drag, eh?

Negativity drains your energy and also drains everyone around you. So having and keeping relationships can be a problem when your outlook is like this. And it also is a signal that you could have more negativity than you want.

It also lowers your vibrations and contracts your beingness, a la the Law of Attraction. So if you don’t have what you want or cherish in your life, there’s another signal.

Now for the BIG question: What can you do about it? In my last post, I showed you it is possible to shift. Here are some things you can start to do to make the adjustment for yourself:

Adopt a positivity partner. You really don’t know how much negativity is in your life until you see it reflected back to you. That’s one thing a positivity partner can do for you. Another is to help you stay positive.

What you do with your positivity partner is this: Whenever you are together or on the phone, you promise one another to only talk about positive things. And when the other gets off track, you gently remind them to stay positive.

Wow! What an eye opener this can be because people love to get together to complain, berate others or just crab about what’s happening. And you know misery loves company. When was the last time you heard someone compliment the government? Or express gratitude for the economy? Ah…exactly!

This is a big step in the direction of raising your awareness. By working with your positivity partner, you start to identify your negativity and eventually catch it in your thoughts. Then you can really start to shift.

Go on a negativity fast. What if you took all negativity in every part of your life and shifted it whenever it came up? What could be possible? Lots!

I recently read about an inspirational man who did this. Whenever any negativity came into his life, he immediately went inside to shift to something positive, like a short meditation, gratitude or reciting a mantra to uplift him. After 21 days (the period of time most people quote as needed to change a habit), he felt completely renewed as if he were a new man.

Check out the complete negativity fast article here with tips for starting your own negativity fast

You can erase negativity! Won’t you give it a try? It’s your choice.

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you confidence, self-esteem and inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

Finding Your Rose-Colored Glasses

I don’t think I’m letting the cat out of the bag about this: our introverted, sensitive type can be rather negative in our outlook. What I mean is I hear lots of comments that sound like “Nothing is ever right,” “Something is wrong with me,” “I can’t because…” or “I’ll be okay when…” (On the side, I have to admit that this is the main reason I don’t participate in forums for our type. I’ve found them in general to be focused on the “Oh, poor me” attitude and that’s never been my attitude around this.)

Now, it can be quite easy to become jaded or negative when you consider the media and news. They focus on whatever is not right, like the economy. Yet, I know that many who are like us avoid the news and any other downers simply because it can cause too much inner turmoil. So that can’t be the source.

For me, the source of my negativity was instilled in childhood. And it became my habit. I grew up with a mother who was a chronic complainer and criticizer. Everything and every person were subject to her verbal assaults of fault finding. Oh, she was nice to your face, but she’d rip someone up one side and down the other afterward. Seeing that duality was confusing, but it was all I knew for many years.

What can you choose to do about it? Many people just want reinforcement for their negativity. They want others to agree with their viewpoint and to console them. Others choose to withdraw, turning to isolation when their beliefs aren’t echoed by the environment they are in.

I took a different route. I reprogrammed my point of view from looking at what’s wrong to seeking what’s right. My motivation came when I saw the impact the negativity was having on my spirit. I wasn’t enjoying anything and I knew it needed to shift.

My first step was seeking my own negativity. I heightened my awareness to hear it as I said it. Wow, that was an eye-opener when I realized I sounded just like my mother. Then came the compassion for myself, as I realized that before then, I didn’t know anything different. I had to create that difference for myself.

Next, I learned to pause before speaking, creating my own personal censorship of my thoughts. I’d still think the negative things, but I didn’t want to say them. Practice with more compassion followed that. Finally, the negative thoughts went away. Whew, I’d made the shift.

And where am I today? I feel completely reprogrammed, granting the benefit of the doubt, looking for the best in people and situations while extending compassion when others come off as negative.

We’re all going to have negative times. Yet, it doesn’t have to infect your outlook. It’s important to realize that your life doesn’t have to remain that way because we are the creators of our own happiness.

What happiness are you creating today?

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you confidence, self-esteem and inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

When Things Get Busy…Again

Whew! How much faster can things go?

How many more demands on my time and energy can I take?

How long before I just collapse?

When will it end?

Have you ever had thoughts like these running in your head? Many of us have.

And this is what my life has been like recently. Business demands have been high and all the while, I have painters in the house going on 3 weeks now and more is coming. It seems as though everything is out of place and in chaos all at once. And my usual serene environment is going through major disruption.

Go back to those thoughts for a moment. Did you notice the negative tinge to them? Each one is making what is happening in the now wrong.

This kind of thinking can feel like a giant magnetic pull into what seems like an endless pit of negativity. And seeing what’s wrong comes naturally to me, as I grew up in the presence of that perspective. Drat, more magnetic pull!

The shift comes for me when you start to recognize what’s right with whatever is happening. Two states of being helped me shift to that today. One is acceptance. “Okay, this is where I’m at now. I can continue to resist it or I can accept what is.” Feel into that thought and see which one relaxes you. Ah, acceptance can be transforming.

The other state of being is trusting that all is as it is supposed to be. I believe we are not in complete control in this life. Some force beyond our human senses is working with us. Notice the word “with.” That one word brings about the trust factor. And therefore, I cannot do anything  all on my own.

Acceptance and  trusting shifted my day. The painter called and said no one would be here today. Yippee! A free day to enjoy my environment on my own, even if it is a bit jumbled up. But they may work tomorrow – Saturday – to catch up. Still, this is just what I needed today. Tomorrow, I will focus on more accepting and more trusting.

One day at a time.

Read my original post on being busy with other coping skills here

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you confidence, self-esteem and inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

Tired of Failed Resolutions?

It is the time of year for many folks to create improvements through resolutions. How well do they work for you?

If you are like so many others, resolutions fade with time. The realities of life overtake the resolution, moving your attention to other seemingly more pressing things.

And how does that make you feel? Frustrated? Disappointed? Like a loser? Yeah, this is the worst part of it because you feel like you’ve failed.

Inner Adventurers dislike feeling of failure because they know they aren’t the truth. Truth comes from figuring things out, working around barriers or obstacles and mastering the inner game of achievement. They are creative self-starters, willing to learn better ways and employ them.

I have an alternative for those feeling of failure and lack of achieving what you want: one that offers you support right now before your resolutions fade and one that helps you achieve what you want. It’s called Once and For All: Progress That Sticks. Here’s what it can do for you:

• You no longer feel stalled or stuck
• You discover how to break inertia and get into productive motion
• You engage all of you in pursuit of what you want – heart, mind and spirit
• You have a process you can rely on and use to track your progress
• You find your own pace, freeing you from any overwhelm
• You can use it with other systems, like the Law of Attraction
• You get rid of any debilitating feelings around not achieving
• You find out just how creative you really are in getting what you want
• You believe in yourself like never before
• You learn a process you can replicate, one that becomes a life skill for you
• You take charge of your future

Too good to be true? Not really, because I’ve used this system since 2004. I’ve taught others to use it, too. I know it works

Come explore the Once and For All: Progress That Sticks process in a free Preview call on January 18 for the upcoming six session tele-series, which starts on February 1. You can find out everything here…

OR Buy the Once and For All: Progress That Sticks e-workbook here

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you confidence, self-esteem and inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

Dodging the Frenzy

I became aware of a pattern developing for me in the second half of 2009: I was feeding the frenzy.

As a solopreneur, there is always something else or something more to do: taking care of clients, marketing, developing a new program, attending regular calls and even more. It’s a job I love, so getting involved with it comes easily. What I want to be more careful of is getting overly involved.

You see, I tend to be a Type A, sensing the urgency of doing things now. And that gets to be an issue when I take on too much, all with that “now” deadline. I think you can see where the frenzy comes from. Then, whatever I do gets less attention and results diminish.

What a contrast from the typical Inner Adventurer: someone who appreciates calm, peaceful atmospheres, who enjoys slower tempos, floating from task to task, is a conscientious worker and is usually focused on what’s going on inside of themselves. This is where it hurts the most because the external frenzy stirs up the interior.

I think you can see why I picked a theme for 2010 of Focus, Not Frenzy. I relish that inner peace and want it to be my normal setting. So here are a few things I’ve done already:

• I remind myself to release expectations and let life flow
• I gauge my energy level at the start of a workday and set out to get a reasonable amount of work done instead of everything on my to-do list
• I pat myself on the back for completing things, which shortens my to-do list
• I schedule in my own personal time, like the massage I have booked for later today
• I focus on what wants to happen and what flows. No more pushing to get results.

I hope that list gives you some inspiration for how you might dodge the frenzy, too. It’s all too prevalent these days. If we are to change this world, all you have to do is drop out of mainstream thinking and doing by adopting what works better for you.

How can you dodge the frenzy?

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you confidence, self-esteem and inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

Be the Change

Be the change you want to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948, Indian political, spiritual leader)

There is much talk about changes happening coming soon, some of it related to the anticipation of 2012 in which we see the ending of the ancient Mayan calendar on December 21 of that year. Some predict cataclysmic disaster; others predict incredible reform. Whatever you believe, what remains present is immense opportunity.

What if you could decide which change would be? Go ahead and play with that in your heart for a while. What particular change would you choose?

Would it be more love or joy? Perhaps peace or calm. Maybe it would be compassion, kindness and empathy for other beings. You might choose to connect with others more deeply or take action for a cause close to your heart. Possibly you just want more space. What do you really want to change? Explore to find your unanswered longing.

Inner Adventurers are people who care: care about themselves and about the state of this world. We appreciate the inner connection of all living things. We swim in the energy of life. So setting this intention for what we want is elemental.

The common next step is to think about how to put it into being. But somehow, we slip right into planning the doing of it: what we are going to stop doing and other things we intend to start doing. Okay, we’re human, so indulge this step, but don’t stop here.

Now, what about being it? Yes, I mean being it at your deepest level of spirit or soul. That is the only thing that makes the change. It was what Gandhi was pointing to and what Michael Jackson sung about in the chorus of Man in the Mirror:

     I’m starting with the man in the mirror
     I’m asking him to change his ways
     And no message could have been any clearer
     If you wanna make the world a better place
    Take a look at yourself and then make a change

To start to dig deeper into the spirit or soul “being-ness” of your longing, ponder these questions:

• Where does this desire come from? What’s behind it? Dig deep to understand it fully.
• How can I give this to myself or allow it to be for me? What can shift?
• What do I want to consciously honor that is already there?
• What is the purest expression of this energy?

Each day, you take the unwritten and write it on the tablet of your life and this world. It’s pure potential and opportunity.

Choose well for it affects all of us.

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you confidence, self-esteem and inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

It’s All Unwritten

I love this time of year. It’s so full of possibility and potential. The slate of the coming year is completely clean, ready for us to write what we want upon it.

Yet, too few of us grab this opportunity. You wouldn’t believe that to see all the television commercials for weight loss or gym memberships. That’s not what I’m talking about, though. What I mean is that each of us needs to embrace the potential of our own lives.

Too many people wallow in what is, thinking that it is all they can ever have. They falsely believe that the past creates the future. Not true. Instead, the present creates the future. So what you are thinking and doing now is what you’ll have coming to you.

For years, I was stuck in that false mindset. It felt like life was a penance to be served awaiting something more glorious in the afterlife. As I expanded my repertoire of reading and ideas, my thinking in the present moment changed. I challenged my thoughts and actions. I found hope and optimism in those new ideas, changing what I thinking and doing. I moved onward, creating better outcomes with each step. And I’m not done yet.

Inner Adventurers like to create, whether it be art, poetry, sculptures, novels, or simply playing a bit of mental ping-pong with ideas. Each new year presents what is the grandest opportunity to create, one that is not to be missed. Embrace it, however cautiously or fervently you choose to do it.

Take all this beautiful unwritten potential and write your heart’s desire on it. Let your heart illuminate the coming year because it’s all unwritten!

To work with Sarah in a one-to-one confidential relationship that brings you increased confidence and self-esteem while creating inner peace, contact her to explore your promising future

For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage

 “Unwritten” Copyright © Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned

Oh, yeah, yeah