Archive for March, 2009.
What a week! On Monday, I was interviewed for the Self-Care Mastery series sponsored by my dear friend, Adela Rubio. All went well…perhaps too well…because I’ve been flooded with requests for complimentary sessions.
The opportunity to meet other people like me in a one-to-one setting is something I cherish. Many times, I find a confused Inner Adventurer and am able to help them get more focused and effective around an important issue. Most often, a big awareness opens up about how they’ve not understood something about themselves. Ah, I love creating understanding as my way to help others.
All seems wonderful, eh? Well, it isn’t when I look at my schedule. Most days this coming week are completely booked with calls. Then I have my other responsibilities for creative writing and program development, like for the InnerVantage monthly call.
All of this brings up the issue of pacing ourselves. Inner Adventurers thrive at a steady tempo with generous opportunity for breaks. Many of us use these breaks to tune in to what is going on inside of us: time to reflect on thoughts, feelings or body sensations. Awareness of these things helps us navigate and respond to life.
Today, I’m aware that I don’t have many of these opportunities coming for the next couple of weeks because of scheduling so many connections to talk with others. I know I will feel stretched in many directions.
I’m also aware that, with attention, I can make it through this more challenging time. When an Inner Adventurer navigates a busy time, self-care becomes even more important than ever. The practices that nurture me will be my best friends to negotiate these next couple of weeks.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
You might have come to think that the Inner Adventurer makes all their progress through their inner will. Not quite. Yes, inner will plays a part. Also in the mix is support.
Anything is easier to achieve when you get support. It comes in many forms: people, practices, accountability and more. So let me give you a few examples of how support works for you.
Lazy Afternoon Copyright Ruth Gorton
Last week, I had a busy day with lots to accomplish, I had several appointments as well as things to get written. Creative stuff, you know, that can draw a lot of energy from you. I was concerned that I’d be able to get it all done. So I set up some support for myself.
I knew any success would get upset if I looked too far into the future at all there was to do. So I made a pact with myself to stay present. That awareness kept my focus on what was right in front of me at that moment. Being present is support for what you desire.
For the first writing project, I set myself a deadline – 2 hours. Whatever I got done in that time would have to be it. One hour later, I was done and completely happy with what I produced. Yeah, I found an extra hour to use for my other project.
This one was more complicated. So I e-mailed a friend for support, asking if we could talk it through on the phone. No word came back from her, so I plunged in and started it myself. Shortly, I found myself thinking, “This isn’t as hard a job as I thought.” I kept plugging away and took a few breaks to center myself before resuming. The entire project was done that day without speaking to my friend. I made it through my difficult day.
Then, another great example of support is my cousin, Ruth Gorton. Ruth is an artist who loves to put brush to canvas. She also loves
Morning Table Copyright Ruth Gorton
teaching art to children. Her average day is full of both…and of support.
Just over 2 years and more than 450 paintings ago, Ruth started her Daily Paintings. Each day, she paints and sends her creation to an e-mail list. The art you see here in this post are some of her Daily Paintings.
Ruth knows that she has a promise to her e-mail list to get a painting to them each Monday to Friday, excepting holidays. This motivates her to find inspiration and produce something on a regular basis. And, in return, her work will inspire you.
To sign up for her Daily Paintings list, go to her web site and click on Contact the Artist. Send her an e-mail with your preferred e-mail address to get on the list. Then sit back and enjoy art in your e-mail box each workday!
I think you get the ideas about built-in support. It doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, the easier, the better. Whether one time or ongoing, support always helps you achieve more than simply muscling through with inner will alone.
How do you build in support for your achievement?
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
Desire, avoidance…Desire, avoidance. Strange partners, embracing each other and engaged in an old-fashioned two-step.
Take income taxes. It’s tax season in the US now and there are many people who want to get this responsibility out of their way. That’s the desire. Still, many of these same people turn into last minute filers, rushing to mail their tax returns at the 11th hour before the deadline. There’s the avoidance. 
Everyone does this dance in some fashion, whether they are aware of it or not. It can be quite easy to spot both partners: desire is of your heart and avoidance of your mind. For instance, you are attracted to someone or something from your heart. The avoidance comes from your mind trying to make sense of it with what it has stored from your life’s experiences. The music stops when it senses caution is necessary.
Have you noticed the “start-stop” nature of the desire-avoidance dynamic before? It feels like a dance without either partner taking the lead. It feels as if you are circling the dance floor, going nowhere fast. This pervasive combination can leave you feeling inadequate, incomplete, unhappy and possibly lost. Not a fun place from which to live!
I know this confusion and anguish well. I recall those years I spent looking for something to complete me. Not knowing I was an Inner Adventurer yet, I was focused on what I was missing, as if a piece of me was not there. I thought finding it would be my answer, that “it” would make me whole. I searched and searched, finding small pockets of relief here and there. Nothing felt like it was my real answer. And it wasn’t.
My desire was to find happiness in simply being me. So what was my avoidance? I avoided the belief that I was complete just as I was. It didn’t even come to me that using what I already possessed within myself would make a difference. I was unaware.
I don’t recall any particular transformative moment that shifted me from that external search to the internal one; it just seemed to happen gradually over time. Nonetheless, it has been one of the best realizations I’ve had so far. Acceptance happens that way much of the time: marinating in what is…until resistance falls away.
There are things I wish I knew sooner. Had I followed my heart from the start, I may have found reality faster and easier. Instead, I listened to my head, telling me that my search was outside of myself. I was trying to find what my heart wanted by pursuing it through my head. Classic symptoms of feeling separate from, not at one with, the Universe and my essence.
It is helpful to know that your mind and heart don’t always agree. When in doubt, hard as it is sometimes, the Inner Adventurer follows their heart. Why? Because even if it looks hard, your heart always leads you to what is best for you.
Getting done with difficult things is easier than living with them. We could choose to avoid them but we know in our hearts that this is not the way to our inner peace. Pain or difficulty may arise, yet we know handling those things right now is ultimately easier than postponing them. Because the courage of personal responsibility runs deep for the Inner Adventurer, we choose to bravely face whatever is standing in the way, so we get more time in the future to focus on other things that bring joy and pleasure.
Do we succeed? I’d like to think we do most of the time. With awareness, you can notice the “avoid-dance” and choose to do something, almost anything, to help yourself reclaim your harmony. Take one step and see where you end up. You can always take another.
So when you find yourself thinking or saying you don’t want to face something, summon your Inner Adventurer and get it done. You’ll be glad you did.
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
This past weekend, I was out hiking with friends. Nature, fresh air, the splendor of the views and gurgling water of Oak Creek delighted each of us.
As we were coming to our rest spot, something was different from when I was last there: someone had put up a swing. From a very tall Arizona sycamore, perhaps 50 feet or more above the ground, someone climbed the tree, strapped up the rope and hung this swing.
I always loved swinging when I was growing up. Its repetition was soothing and I could feel as free as the birds. The opportunity to slip back onto a swing was immediate and I took it. We all did.
Flying across the sand beneath me, I felt excited, open and free. Back and forth, pushing off with my feet, I soared for several minutes. It felt intoxicating. I was transported back to those sensations I had as a child, recalling playgrounds and settings I hadn’t thought of for years.
Funny, in all the flood of freedom, I thought of the chorus from a Gerry and the Pacemakers hit called Girl on a Swing from 1966:
Girl on a swing, swing high
Girl on a swing, swing low
Take all the hate from the world that we’re in
Girl on a swing, swing high
Girl on a swing, swing low
And you can cast all your troubles to the wind
The Inner Adventurer embraces their freedom to do and be as they choose in each moment. They know the delight of their inner child and seek to feed it with new – or renewed – experiences. These moments allow us to step out of today for just a short while. And when we reengage with our life in the now, the perspective has shifted on everything that is there.
How can you delight your inner child?
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an introverted, highly sensitive life, visit InnerVantage
The Inner Adventurer lives a rich and rewarding life. They take personal responsibility for creating it.
Life and life situation are distinctly different things. Your life is your deep inner Being. It is the part of you that is whole and complete all the time. Many people fail to access this precious part of themselves. Inner Adventurers know it well.
So where are these other people? Likely caught up in their life situation: where they live, which position they hold, what career they are building, which house or car they own, and so many other things like which designer they are wearing. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with having or aspiring for these things, their mistake comes when they think those things are their life.
And so we see two ways of looking at life. Neither is better than the other. It’s simply a choice. I find it sad so many people never see that they DO have a choice. Not as in “either/or” choice, but as in a choice that selects from where they experience what happens to them.
I, too, was blind to that choice for quite a while. Take my cross-country move from Boston, MA, to Sedona, AZ, in the fall of 2004. Part of me believed I wasn’t going to be happy until I reached my dream location. Then I realized I was laughing with friends, aware of how much I’d miss them just a short time into the future. I was happy right then, almost giddy with anticipation. I was full of life and postponing my experience of it until I arrived in a new life situation.
Don’t delay. What’s your choice?
This entry was inspired by Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now.
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an introverted, highly sensitive life, visit InnerVantage
Life is full of wonderful things, no matter what we are dealt to handle through life’s situations and events. What matters more than what happens is what we get from each experience.
Opportunity is present…always. Even before being separated from my biological family, I’ve embraced opportunity and created my family of choice. I’ll tell you how I got there.
In the early days of coach training, the emphasis is on taking care of your own issues – strengthening yourself so you can support others in the future. And there is nothing like your own life experience to hone your expertise in something. So I embarked on the path of creating solutions for what didn’t feel so good.
Family has always been an issue for me. What I thought “should be” just wasn’t the way things happened. I held hope for having the ideal family. I wanted it and put much energy into making things appear that way. I hosted family get-togethers on holidays. I helped when I was called upon. I gave gifts. I allowed interruptions to my workday from them. I was being dutiful daughter and good girl. All things considered, I made great efforts to create what I wanted.
Please don’t get me wrong here. I’m not puffing up my own actions. I’m simply reporting to you what I’ve heard from other relatives about what they observed: my all out attempt to strengthen what was. Sadly, it was not to be.
Regardless of my actions, I still sensed a distinct difference in the way my family treated me and the way others did. What struck me as odd in looking back at it was that it was opposite of what you might think: my family treated me not as good as others did. I noticed went to friends for support, encouragement, validation and to solve issues. I felt I couldn’t turn to my family for these important things. They didn’t have the capacity to give it to anyone, not even me.
Therein lies the opportunity I had. It was time to create my family of choice. I had already found those who loved and accepted me just as I am. They simply didn’t come in the form of immediate biological family as one might think.
So each year on the Saturday before Thanksgiving, I had a gratitude party called “Giving Thanks for Good Friends.” Everyone who had helped my husband or me that year got an invitation. And what a great time it was. We cooked a traditional Thanksgiving dinner and served it buffet-style so everyone could mingle and talk.
What amazed me about this gathering was that the people who liked us liked each other, too. We really didn’t have to entertain or help people get along. It seemed to take off on its own after introductions. And in subsequent years, everyone looked forward to seeing each other again to catch up.
I moved from there in 2004 and still hear how friends miss our annual party. I do, too. When we returned to that area in 2007, we all got together again at a restaurant and picked right up where we left off. Yeah! Family is always there for you! And it feels like time to start the tradition anew in my new location.
So what does this have to do with truth and freedom? Well, in understanding the truth about my biological family, I found the freedom to create what I wanted elsewhere. Had I remained in my self-induced delusion of trying to change my family, I would have never found the way to express my appreciation and love to those who did so much to enrich my life – then and now.
The Inner Adventurer realizes that seeing truth is simply the beginning. From there, life shifts, opening to new opportunity that brings freedom. Finding freedom means stepping out of conditioned patterns and aligning with your heart.
Easy to say…not always so easy to do. It’s worth what you put into it.
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an introverted, highly sensitive life, visit InnerVantage
