Archive for September, 2009.
Everyone knows that stretching is an essential part of exercise. It loosens muscles and prevents injuries. And with repetition, you become more flexible.
Stretching also relates to personal growth and our skill sets. If you aren’t stretching yourself into new areas, you run the risk of becoming outdated or insignificant.
I ran up against my ability to stretch in recent days. I planned a lot to accomplish in September and it got a bit close to the wire in these finishing days. It felt so stressful that I nearly cancelled one thing I had scheduled.
Have you noticed the same thing for yourself? That when you are in a tight spot, running away seems like the ideal answer? Yeah, when you are full of self-doubt and on a tight deadline, it looks pretty enticing!
But the stretch happened. I walked into my own discomfort and did my best. And that’s what stretching is all about. On the first attempt, you are reminded by your muscles that going too fast or too far could result in a strain or a tear. So, you back off a bit to prevent potential damage.
And still, you do it anyway. You know it will be uncomfortable and that you might not look or feel as if you are very good at it. You realize that all of that is part of your growth path. And the day after, you really know how much you stretched by how tired or sore you are.
Inner Adventurers are stretchers. They hold the courage and conviction that they will succeed eventually. It doesn’t have to be right away, so they practice while they gain finesse and confidence. Each stretch takes them a bit farther than the one before. Skill develops. Flexibility comes. They look back and wonder what all their initial angst was all about.
One way they stretch is by doing a little at a time. They don’t have to take giant steps, but instead use a little stretch here, a little stretch there. It’s that continual practice at stretching that keeps them supple and willing, for these small exercises are fun and part of their grand experiment at living a full, enriching life.
Where do you stretch yourself?
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
Have you ever tried to communicate with someone and no matter how hard you tried, your message didn’t seem to get through? You sincerely tried to connect with them, but somehow your meaning didn’t hit the mark?
Yeah, I bet we all know that disappointment and frustration. Maybe it left you feeling inadequate, as if the gap between you couldn’t be bridged and that it was your fault.
Inner Adventurers desire deeper connections. It’s not that we collect many people as friends, but instead join naturally only with those to whom we feel a deep resonance in the energy of the other person. Our closest relationships may be few, but they are so engaging and rewarding.
Still, Inner Adventurers have to deal with a broad variety on people on many levels: family, neighbors, co-workers, service representatives and sales clerks. They come in all sorts of temperaments and can be challenging to handle.
So how can the Inner Adventurer stay in integrity when that energy is not aligned and true? How can they communicate and connect for everyone’s benefit?
First, the Inner Adventurer gracefully accepts their personal responsibility in getting their message across the gap. They are bridge builders. They honor their own natural attributes and those of the other person. They realize that they can be flexible in how they express themselves, easily with comfort and style.
Next, they know how to adapt to many different communication styles while staying true to themselves. That comes in a package that I call Adapt-Ability. I’m doing a special preview call for the series next Tuesday. I’ll show you how you can know your own communication assets and how to figure out how the other person can “hear” you, which is essential for you to connect and build the bridge across the gap.
Adapt-Ability will give you:
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Greater ease in sharing while getting more desirable responses
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Confidence to express yourself in a variety of situations
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More meaningful and rewarding connections
Register for the call: Tuesday, September 29 at 7:00 PM Eastern time or check out the full program description on that page, too.
To work with Sarah on a one-to-one confidential basis, contact her
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
It’s easy to get caught in the endless pursuit of becoming something other than you are. The searching and seeking to find what fixes your flaws can be all consuming. It can even feel like a life purpose!
Somewhere along the becoming trail, you realize that the hunting you are doing is denying all that you already have within you. Ah, the sparkle of that moment can be miraculous. The Inner Adventurer is born in an instant.
Even the path of Inner Adventuring can be confusing without some direction. What do you do first? Then what? And what about those twists and turns or bumps along the way?
The surest method for steady progress is to follow a guide: someone who has done it before you and who knows the territory. An insightful mentor can stop your muddling and gently coax you forward to where you want to go, helping you “get” what your life is all about, building your strong foundation and bringing your true self out of hiding.
For some, having a dedicated guide might be beyond their financial reach. For others, it simply might be too intense. That’s why I’ve created a means for you to become your best at your own pace. You create what you want in your life while being escorted, like a soft hand on your elbow showing you the way.
Here’s your opportunity: this Wednesday, I’m doing a free call all about this program. Won’t you come and find out how to become your bes at your own pacet? Just click below to register…
Learn about AdVantage Membership
Register for the call: Wednesday, September 23 at 7:00 PM Eastern time
To work with Sarah on a one-to-one confidential basis, contact her
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
In the last 24 hours, I’ve ridden the range of emotions. Funny how they all seem to come at once.
I spent most of yesterday hiking with my Thursday hiking group. We did a new trail, which is always amazing. It was adventuresome, wondrous, breathtaking and inspiring. The day was full of great scenery and the good company of being with friends. Albeit a long day and returning tired, it was another great day on the trails.
All was going well until I got the day’s mail. Opening one piece got me angry – really angry. It doesn’t matter what it was now, just know my response was intense. My blood boiled as the flames of anger were fanned with every word I read. It was a situation I didn’t want to find myself in. I was mad at a nameless, faceless thing. 
I stomped around and felt that they could not do this to me. I tried to occupy myself with other things, like fixing some dinner. When I ate it, my stomach felt sour. The anger had full hold of every part of me.
I was still in its possession after some television and lying down to try to settle down for sleep. I felt as though I couldn’t keep it any longer, that I had to divest myself of it. Using some energy exercises, I settled myself enough to get a fairly good night’s sleep.
Society tends to judge emotions. We all would rather be around the pleasant ones: love, joy, amusement, caring, kindness and the like. Who wants to be with someone who is angry? Or frustrated? Or confused? I haven’t found many people who choose to do that.
This being so, we quickly learn to hide those undesirable emotions, stuffing them away so others don’t see them. The fact is that doing this only imprints them inside of you, causing “dis-ease.” When you are able to meet emotions in the moment and let them arise, they eventually release their hold, flowing through your body without a trace remaining.
Yesterday’s anger signaled a breach of my integrity. For that, I am grateful. I realized quickly what must be done to solve the situation and restore my integrity. Today, I took action, freeing myself fully from its bondage.
The heights and depths of emotion that I welcomed yesterday have left me tired today, but feeling at one with who I am: a responsible and vulnerable being navigating this Earth as best I can. Not bad. Not bad, at all.
Inner Adventurers relish in all the emotions they experience. There can be no denying or resisting any of them. From the pleasant to the mundane to the irritation, it is all part of being the fullest version of oneself that one can be. Inner Adventurers savor the elegant taste of each feeling, sampling its juicy deliciousness in each bite. Won’t you join me at the feast?
How do you welcome the full energy of your emotions?
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
When do you shift to becoming an Inner Adventurer?
The answer to that question comes in two parts:
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Whenever the burden of living as you are becomes too heavy
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Whenever the search for answers outside of yourself doesn’t yield answers any longer
My experience has shown me that the burden part comes first. I felt the heaviness of all I was carrying with me: self-limiting beliefs, trying to be like others and failing miserably, trying to please others so they would like me along with a deep sense of being flawed and deficient. Gee, just thinking about it now feels weighty.
When you are tired of carrying the burden, it is common to be an avoider, too. By avoiding the fact that you have any influence on your situation, it becomes the world and other people who have to change to have things feel better for you. Precious energy and time is spent trying to shift others to make your world seem right. I tried that, too. I’d talk a lot about “Wouldn’t it be better if…?” and it always was about what someone else could do. I never had to change at all.
Finally, when the load became too heavy and I failed at getting others to shift, I started a long search for answers beyond me. I read every self-help book that seemed to fit my situation. That’s when the light started to dawn. The underlying theme of all I read was heal yourself.
Looking at what needed healing was fascinating. That’s when my Inner Adventurer kicked in with its inspired momentum. I found many things I could heal. So where to start? I started with whatever I felt I was willing and able to work on. Willingness is essential, because when I carried the burden and searched outside of myself, there was no willingness. Willingness engages personal responsibility, too, which melts your avoidance.
A distinguishing characteristic for Inner Adventurers is that they eagerly confront what doesn’t suit them. They realize they can have whatever they choose, so they choose wisely and with gusto. They are willing to do what it takes to create their desires.
Inner Adventurers set themselves in motion. They don’t need any external stimulus. All their mojo comes from within. And when they get what they want, inspired momentum fuels the desire to seek more.
What is within reach of your inspired momentum?
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
Posted on September 11th, 2009 by Sarah Dolliver in
4-Step Cycle It’s a sad day today. We each know the loss we felt eight short years ago when terrorism hit New York City and the World Trade Towers. It changed life for every American and much of the world.
Also today, I heard from a friend that she unexpectedly lost her daughter-in-law at the young age of 47. She said it has been the hardest day of her life. She not only grieves the loss, but feels the pain of her only son, too. She told me he trembled as she hugged him.
Perhaps the saddest part of her loss was there was nothing the doctors could do for her daughter-in-law. What happened was beyond repair. There was no hope for her. Just like there seemed to be no hope after September 11, 2001.
Life without hope is perhaps the hardest existence. One can feel so helpless at what stands in front of them. No actions to take that might influence the outcome. No way to make things any different or better. A heart can feel closed and broken.
What is left? Acceptance. As time passes, one adjusts to what is. The sting of loss eases as one learns to take forward-moving steps again, however small they seem. Acceptance is difficult, but necessary for hope to live on.
The awakening of hope comes from an open heart. That heart is equally ready to feel pain as it is to feel joy. It is willing to be broken and to love again. It knows the depths of each extreme and willingly steps up for more, believing that life is not about what happens to us but instead about how we feel whatever goes on.
Inner Adventurers often have those open hearts who willingly empathize and feel what others are feeling, even when it is at the broken heart end of the spectrum. In doing so, they generously assist others to accept what is and allow for the arousing of hope.
What hope does your heart hold today?
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
What is just beyond your reach?
I have this itchy spot on my mid-back that can drive me crazy. I can’t reach it! I’ve tried the arm over the opposite shoulder. I’ve reached around the side and up with my fingers from my waist. I can get my fingernails nearly there, but not really enough to scratch it. It’s just beyond my reach. Argghh!
How easy it is to think that much of life is beyond your reach, too. Maybe it’s that vacation home you always wanted. Or perfect colored outfit that sets off your skin tone so nicely. Or even that relationship based in true mutual love. It could also be some intangibles, such as happiness or even that personal growth you’ve wanted.
Having an itch is a very good sign. It is desire knocking at your door. It is your internal guidance showing your which direction leads you to better things. Yet, many people ignore their itches in favor of scratching for something else.
What else? Maybe it is going into the family business when they’d rather do something else. Perhaps it is forgoing travel to attend school or start a family. Or it might be all you gave up to get into your career. What did you surrender in your life in favor of something else?
Still, scratching your itch can be scary. It can bring up all sorts of fears and doubts, like “What if I really am successful at it?” Or the opposite, “What if I try and don’t get what I want?” Perhaps the scariest of all is “Who would I be if I had that?”
Doubt your strength? Then, think about all the challenges you’ve faced and made it through. Go on, dare to see your own inner fortitude.
Here’s what is most important: Beyond your reach is an illusion. You can have anything you itch for. It’s all possible. All you have to do is choose what it is and start scratching.
Inner Adventurers answer their itches with scratching, not only to quell an annoyance but also to find more of what it is all about. They explore what it is. They look into the future to see what it takes to get it. They are willing to commit and not give up on themselves. They find ways to move beyond the fears and doubts to living with courage and intent. And these are the things I most often work on with my private clients.
Ooh! My itch is back. Off to find the edge of a door…
Since nothing is beyond your reach, consider these options:
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Learn Positive Assertiveness
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Become Your Best Self: Why AdVantage Membership Matters
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Discover how to get along with nearly anyone by using Adapt-Ability
Check them all out here…
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
I was hoping to come to you today with another great blog post, but it simply isn’t going to happen.
I’ve had a whirlwind week doing the behind-the-scenes work for a very busy September and October. Details are coming out in the newsletter next week on the 10th and I’ll be telling you more about what is happening soon. [To sign up for the newsletter, just go to InnerVantage and use the box in the upper left corner.]
So today, I’m feeling less connected to work. My mind is straying and my urge to work has gone completely. I feel great for having accomplished so many things with time to spare before the deadline. It’s a good feeling to have.
You see, even Inner Adventurers need to break from what they thrive on to kick back to rest. That’s what I’ll be doing this weekend. Hope yours is great, too!
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
Posted on September 1st, 2009 by Sarah Dolliver in
4-Step Cycle This coming weekend, I’ll make my third trip into the Lava River Cave, north of Flagstaff, AZ It’s a 700,000-year old underground tunnel made from a volcanic lava flow where you are cloaked in absolute darkness and cold as you traverse its rough surfaces to witness a natural marvel. It’s pure exploring!
[You can click on the name above to link to some information about it. Or use your favorite search engine to find out more about it or see more pictures.]
I had always been an overly cautious person before I started Inner Adventuring. I wouldn’t take any risk, no matter how small or trivial. It made me very uncomfortable. Risk just wasn’t part of my vocabulary.
When I peeled back the “risk” layer, I discovered something I hadn’t expected. It’ wasn’t that I was risk-averse. The real reason I didn’t take any risk was that I didn’t trust my inner resources. Ah, that rang with true resonance as it amazed and stunned me.
Full of doubt, low esteem, little respect or confidence, it was no wonder that any risk seemed too huge. So the beginnings of an Inner Adventure were born. Finding my inner resources was fun. When one popped up and got explored, another one easily followed. Here is some of what I discovered within:
Life with these partners is so much more enjoyable and fun. I still respect risk and will travel the Lava River Cave carefully. But I’m not sitting home missing the opportunity to take on an outer adventure. I know from Inner Adventuring that I can handle more than I ever imagined. Now, instead of asking “Why?” I ask “Why not?”
When the Inner Adventurer knows how expansive their inner resources are, they feel capable of handling whatever life delivers to them – physical injury, emotional upheaval or spiritual crisis. They know that from within comes whatever they need to handle each moment and circumstance.
Have you explored your inner resources? Then have yourself a marvelous outer adventure this weekend, too!
For more of what Sarah has to offer about living an inner-inspired life, visit InnerVantage
